DIARY OF A WOMAN IN GOD’S WAITING ROOM: Morsels from the innermost secrets of an expecting woman.

Day 1 Dear diary , as I rightly suspected, Femi had something up his sleeves when he invited me for dinner at that new Chinese place. It turned out he just wanted to prepare the ground for the soft landing of his latest idea. He wanted us to start seeing a new doctor in town, the same one I had in mind. This one is supposed to be a fertility specialist. I was estactic, but tried not to show I, In the past, I have been the one pushing for medical attention while he would gudgingly follow me and pay the bills even more grudgingly! now I am sure I had his full cooperation. There is one problem though, just the thought of it all brought all sorts of images to my mind. The needle pricks to draw blood, the internal examination not to mention the prodding. Then the sample production, no one calls it semen or sperm they just say sample. Like the bank will want a sample of your signature. I really hope we are doing the right thing this time. Initially, I was encouraged to see a doctor for my fertility issues, with no pregnancy in sight I was advised to see a gynaecologist, now my husband is saying see a fertility specialist!!!!! I thought every gynaecologist was a fertility specialist??? I am going crazy can someone please help me?
Day 2 It was a nice quiet environment, not at all like the hospitals that I had visited severally in the past and the nurses were warm and friendly. I made the mistake of mentioning that I hated hospitals , the head nurse corrected me with a smile “but we are not a hospital we are a clinic and our customers are not sick so they are really clients not patients”. They had loads of pictures on the wall of babies they had assisted their conception and even cards and thank you notes from all over the country and even a few from neighboring West Afrcian countries. Then I saw the Gynecologist ……. sorry fertility specialist, he looked ordinary enough to me but too good looking for his own good , he looked just like a dude! Oil and gas or banking or stock broking not at all like the aged doctors that smelled and looked like my grandpa. His manner was calm and reassuring as he welcomed us into his consulting room. His first question put me at ease, “I was In year one at the University of Ibadan with a Yemisi Sowolu are you by any means related” he asked my husband after greeting us and introducing himself. Yemosky (my pet name for Yemisi) is Femi’s most favorite cousin in the world and my strongest ally in His family. “If this guy knows yemosky, he must be a correct guy” I was thinking as Femi sat back in his chair and we chatted about yemosky for a few minutes. Paradoxically, I had feared this consultation since we brought up the discussion and now here was the doctor showing me this was not just another childless couple but a couple living in the same real world where he lives. He was more like a psychologist. We eventually got around to talking about how frequently we were doing what and when in the cycle……. what I called the pornographic session. These are questions that I have literally been asked hundreds of time in the past but this guy asked in such a nice way I could not hate him. He asked like he cared to know. We were through in about half an hour and I almost could not believe it was over. Even the internal examination I had a phobia for was over before I knew it as I got dressed, I thought this is too good to be true.
Day 3 I can’t seem to get this clinic out of my mind dear diary after seeing doctors in all shapes and sizes for several years and taking pills , injections, womb washing, ultrasound scans, tube flushing. I finally find a clinic that I seem to mean something to. I did mean something to a few of the doctors in the past especially when they thought they were in a better position to impregnate me than my husband!!!! God punish all of them!
Day 4 I could not but mention this clinic to my online support group interestingly, two of my online friends have had treatments there. One succeeded and the other didn’t but they both agreed it was a good place to check out and they encouraged me in no small measure to go for it. They particularly mentioned about the homely environment in which they work. When I said it was rather expensive, they practically shouted me down. “ Fertility treatment is expensive all over the world!” The other replied with a proverb “he that wants to taste the honey in the center of the rock will not complain that his axe is getting blunt “ Go for it girl they said.
Day 5 – I got a call from the clinic today, they wanted to invite me to their fertility support group some one was coming to talk to us about her journey with childlessness. These people seem to be serious about what they do, but it will have to be a NO from me. I don’t think I am ready for that yet this is going way too fast. Femi didn’t seem to mind going though, he is such a supportive guy. I’m glad he’s got my back. His excitement about the support group meeting was dampened by an old friend from his university days, this was a nice guy…no smoking, no drinking, no girls, yes I know its difficult to believe but Femi said Anayo was the only Male virgin he knows (I hope there is somethhig like that) . Apparently he had testicular cancer soon after his wedding and had chemotherapy, he was planned for semen freezing before the medications but already his parameters were poor and the sperms did not tolerate freezing well. The medications knocked off the rest his swimmers. He was desperate as he knew the disease could recur. As an only child, having children of his own meant the world to him and his parents. I have never met Anayo but the pain in my husband’s eyes was so real, I felt bad for him and his young wife . Here was I complaining I had no shoes now I am meeting a man who has no feet. I’m so grateful to be in good health and am glad its Friday.

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